[On an episode of "Hardware"]
Customer: *trying to explain what he wants when he can't remember the name*
Martin: A clippity-clip-matic?
Customer: Is that what I mean?
Martin: No, but you were talking crap, I just thought I'd join in.
THE Office star Martin Freeman has revealed that he was in the running to become the 11th Doctor Who.
"Apparently I got a mention from Russell T Davies himself on some documentary programme but never made the shortlist," said Freeman, who finished filming a modern-day take on Sherlock Holmes, penned by the Time Lord's new executive producer Steven Moffat, around and about South Wales on Sunday.
"Actually, was there even a shortlist? Wasn't there just a long list with me and every other British actor under the age of 50 on it?" he joked of the intense media speculation as to who would materialise as the cult sci-fi character's 11th incarnation.
"I got a text from Patterson Joseph, who was a favourite at one point, telling me his agent had been asked to confirm or deny he'd been approached to play the role.
"It never got that far with me, but it did make me think: 'God, wouldn't it be weird to be the Doctor'?"
Freeman, who plays a very different Doctor Dr Watson to Bafta-nominated Benedict Cumberbatch's Sherlock Holmes, added that the current success of Doctor Who lay largely in the fact that the role was wide open to anyone.
"In the show's current incarnation you can see anybody good having a go and that's brilliant," he said.
"I mean, 10 years ago you wouldn't have said: 'David Tennant, now there s a Doctor Who if ever I saw one', similarly this newest guy Matt Smith.
"You certainly wouldn't have thought, 'Christopher Ecclestone? Oh, he's born to play the part'.
"And that's the beauty of this rebooted version of it, the Doctor just becomes who ever ends up playing him." Nathan Bevan, Western Mail
"It would be easy for him [Martin Freeman] to follow the guest DJ route and just sit in the corner and drink with his mates but not Mr Freeman. No, he's on the floor pretty much whenever he's not behind the decks. Top chap." Rock n Roll Soul
[On the first outfit he bought with his own money] "I was 15,and it was a Prince of Wales three-button mod jacket bought from a local mod shop."I had matching trousers from Oxfam, a Ben Sherman shirt, loafers from Hobbs and an umbrella. People used to ask me, 'Why do you dress like that?' They were genuinely puzzled." Martin Freeman
SIMON AMSTELL: Matt Horne, as you probably know, is famous for doing a straight face and a slight sigh after Catherine Tate sketches.
MATTHEW HORNE: It's sort of a despondent look that I've copied from Martin. But Martin's the master.
SIMON AMSTELL: I have an idea! What if you were both in a sitcom together just sighing at each other? You start, Matt. Nevermind the Buzzcocks S21E7
"The great thing about getting older is that you learn not to care about being cool. I'm happy with who I am, I know what I like and I can't see myself changing
not for a little while, at least." Martin Freeman
"This is going to look quite dodgy, me, in-between two girls, wearing handcuffs!" Martin Freeman, on the set of The Reichenbach Fall with some fans
"I cry at RSPCA commercials on the telly. I think you just have to let it go. I saw ET and it made me cry for weeks. I was almost too moved. I think I was paralysed with emotion. I thought about it for weeks. The last time I saw it on telly I cried. I was watching with my three year-old son Joe, who had never seen it before. He couldn't take his eyes off it. It was moving seeing it through his eyes." Martin Freeman
These quotes are even better than Martin's teeth on Wild Target, amirite?